Journal Entry #8

How do people do it? How can a person just say "I'm going to bed." crawl under the covers and fall off to la la land? I have to jump through all kinds of hoops just to consider it. A glass of wine, Excedrin PM, a banana; none of them work but then there's always the chance...

Before I get into bed the window has to be open, and the shade pulled down just enough for me to see outside. Once the door is closed and I see that my rifle is still under the bed, I watch T.V for at least twenty minutes. Usually, I bore myself into a sleepy state by watching re-runs of The Jefferson's or Three's Company. When I start feeling groggy, comfort is essential because any amount of movement once the T.V. is off turns the lights back on in my head. It's really all for nothing. Often I wake because my husband is snoring or the dogs just saw a hurd of deer and think I want to know about it. At that point, it's psychological warfare.

There are the nights I look forward to when I'm so completely exhausted from lack of sleep that I'm wiping the drool from my mouth before the T.V is even off. Yep, those are the good nights.