Journal Entry #3

"We're going in. Caareful...nice and slow. A little to the left. Now straighten it out. Squish! That's what I imagined happened when my sister had her invetro fertilization last week. Outside looking in it seems a little cold and calculated. Inside, I've seen their five year struggle to conceive.

I understand the theory behind "If it was mean't to be" but saying that to someone trying to get pregnant is like saying "It's possible you weren't mean't to be a mother." That's hardly consoling.

My sisters neighbor just found out his ex-girlfriend is four months pregnant. She's a heroine addict. How was that "meant to be?" Maybe it was meant to be that someone was born into this world with the ability to discover a procedure that would help women like my sister. I guess it's how you choose to look at it. I choose to believe the meaning behind what they are doing is more significant than how it's done.