Sunday, December 03, 2006

Theme Week # 14

A cure for cancer, aids, the common cold, the perfect man, or woman, car keys, the "other" sock, reading glasses, and happy endings; we spend a good majority of our lives looking for things. Much of what we search for is either lost or unattainable.

I'm beginning to think I may never find what I am looking. No, it's not the perfect man. Even I know the improbability of that. I'm just looking for the perfect pair of underwear; a pair that don't bunch, twist, ride, or cut me in half. Yes, I've tried the thong somehow believing that intentionally placing the underwear between my cheeks would take away from the frustration I feel when they creep up there on their own. A few hours of "balancing on that tightrope" was all I could take.

Unlike the three styles men have, there are as many women's styles of underwear as Baskin Robbins has flavors. Yesterday, I broke down and bought six of them. Surely with so many to choose from I would find one I liked.

I put a pair on and went Christmas shopping. By 10am, I was in a bathroom stall at JC Penney's holding a pair of scissors with my underwear pulled down around my thighs trying desperately to remove whatever was poking me in the crotch. I snipped at a piece of elastic and went on my merry way. Before three minutes passed, I was back in the bathroom with more fervor than ever, scissors in hand. Clip, clip, clip...That should do it. By noon, my new panties found their way into the bathroom trashcan. It was at that point, I considered scratching the underwear search altogether. How bad could it be? Yeah, well that question was answered rather quickly as I was leaving the bathroom and passed two giggling girls in the hallway, then I felt the draft. Needless to say, the search continues.

3 Comments:

Blogger johngoldfine said...

If you think this is a risky topic for you to write about, just imagine how it feels to a joker like me to possibly comment on.

Not going to go there, Darlene, no way. Oh my lord no.

But you've got your a-game nicley working here.

2:52 PM  
Blogger johngoldfine said...

'Nicely' too.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Mainer said...

Probably much like what I heard when I read it to my husband. The possibilities are endless.

5:15 AM  

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