Theme Week # 13
Two feet between them should have been a mile for the distance years of silence created.
She pulled at the lint on her skirt, crossed and uncrossed her legs several times, wiped the scuff on her shoe and sighed at the inconvenience of this day.
He sat with his hands in his lap twisting his wedding band, staring at the tan tiles beneathe his feet holding it all in just as she said he'd done the past twelve years.
"Mr and Mrs. Clough. Right this way."
She pulled at the lint on her skirt, crossed and uncrossed her legs several times, wiped the scuff on her shoe and sighed at the inconvenience of this day.
He sat with his hands in his lap twisting his wedding band, staring at the tan tiles beneathe his feet holding it all in just as she said he'd done the past twelve years.
"Mr and Mrs. Clough. Right this way."
posted by Mainer at 6:43 PM
2 Comments:
Really unsure on this one. Leave out last line or not enough? I could see it but would the reader have to work too hard?
Good, glad to hear you're unsure--fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Writers need to work toward certainty but take nothing for granted
However, in this case I think your fears are unnecessary. The reader is not having to work too hard. The last line is needed and ends it just where it should be ended.
You have a nice feel for a vignette.
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